OK. So for those of you who know me, my clumsy antics and constant embarassing escapades are probably getting pretty old at this point. But I promise you, my embarassing moments hit an all-time high this weekend. Because this time, I embarassed myself in front of about 30,000 people.

This past Saturday was to be my claim to fame, my 10 minutes in the spotlight. I was going to ride in a float down six blocks for the annual Koreatown Parade in Los Angeles. Big whoopdididoo, right? Well, it was important to me, and lots of television stations and news photographers were there to document the parade. So, I planned out carefully what I was going to wear, spent time getting my hair and makeup perfect. I needn't have bothered. I still ended up making an ass of myself ANYWAY.

I was supposed to ride the float with a bunch of other Korean Americans who work in politics. We're part of this centennial committee. Well, while we're dawdling, networking, schmoozing with everyone, our float takes off without us. We see it heading slowly down Olympic Boulevard, empty, save two people. So we take off running for the float, as the two people aboard are shouting at us to hurry up. And then they tell us to jump ONTO THE MOVING FLOAT. I can barely walk right on solid ground, they want me to jump onto moving ground? No way, right? Yeah, they weren't kidding.

So, let me tell you...those floats move WAY faster than you think they do. Here's what happens. My friend Alex jumps onto the float ahead of me and lands fine. Unfortunately, he jumps onto the only space that's low enough to the ground for me to reach. So I have to jump onto a higher part of the float. Well, needless to say, I don't make it. I jump, and this guy on the float grabs my arm, but I lose my footing, and I'm hanging off the side of the float in front of thousands of people while the float is moving down the street. I felt like Jamie Lee Curtis in "True Lies" with Arnold Schwarzenneger, when she's hanging out of the helicopter. Anyways, so I'm hanging off the side of the float, my legs banging against the bottom (and I have the bruises to prove it). And the guy hanging onto my arm is slipping on his grip and nearly falling off the float himself, until another guy runs over to help hoist me onto solid ground. All the while, the driver is just going along, not caring that I'm seconds from being crushed by a giant centennial celebration float.

So now I'm finally on the float, have secure footing and am rubbing my bruised shins. No joke...TWO MINUTES LATER, the float stops and idles for about five minutes in place.

I'm convinced the driver of the float was back there laughing his mean little ass off. Jerk.